Understanding Self-Care and Wellness

Ask yourself, in this moment, "How am I feeling?" If you saw the title of this article and decided to read this, chances are you may be feeling a little overwhelmed.

But how can you be stressed? You are a student, these are the best times of your life! Right?? Or maybe you are a faculty or staff member. You get to go home and rest after your day is done!

Of course, these statements are completely false. No matter what your role is at Lamar University, you have a lot on your plate.  The stress of balancing work, school, and family wreaks havoc on the mind and body. If you do not incorporate wellness and self-care into your daily life, you may continue the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

Self-care is exactly what it sounds like…caring for yourself. Why is that so important? Trying to balance all the things going on in your life can be difficult. Trying to create that balance means making sure that YOU are important. YOUR mental wellness is important. I tell my students all the time to BE SELFISH! The word “selfish” gets a bad rep! I’m not asking my students to be self-centered, but I am asking them to take time to make sure they are being cared for. Many of my students are mothers, fathers, caretakers and, of course, teachers. No matter who they are, they are 100% in the business of taking care of others.

But who is taking care of them? Who is taking care of you?

The number one answer should be you. You have to make yourself a priority. If you are not taking care of yourself, not practicing balance, you cannot be expected to take care of anyone else. Of course, you'll need support in order to make this happen. If you are in school right now, you have some kind of support system encouraging you on your journey. At the very least, you have teachers (like me!) who want to see you succeed. Utilize your system when considering how you'll accomplish self-care.

Wellness is not only about being physically well. You want to prioritize your mental wellness, also. mental and physical health really intertwine since both have been proven to relate to brain function. Consider what makes a person “well.” Physical discipline such as nutrition and exercise? Yes. Or can it be practicing a hobby they love? How about going to counseling? Yes and yes!

Now, you might be thinking, "That's great and all, but I don't have time for any of that."

How do I make my wellness a priority is probably the most common question I get from my students. And it's a really good one! Maybe you feel like you are in a hole and trying desperately to escape...

I liken this to Joseph Campbell’s idea of the "hero’s journey." That is, there is always the point in a story when the hero falls into the “pit,” some ordeal that he or she must go through in order to be reborn and conquer fears.

YOU are the hero in YOUR story. You'll often have to take control during periods when you may not feel like you have any. When overwhelm causes you to lose your sense of control it can shift your mentality. Consider what you feel in this moment – be mindful. Are you angry? Devastated? Sad? Are you irritated at people whom you are normally very close?

These are very common feelings and you should not feel guilty, or angry, with yourself for having them. Your place of turmoil is your own. Whatever reason for being in “the pit,” you have a right to the feelings that are triggered. However, you must also be mindful about when it is time to come out of it. This is the hardest part. How do you drive yourself to do so? What keeps you motivated? Is it your goals? Parents? It could be your partner, your friends, your children, even your fur-babies.

Be mindful. There is something within everyone that helps them realize when they need positive change. If gaining control of your life is important to you, you'll make it a priority. It isn’t easy…it takes practice, a routine, and consistency (at least 20 days) to incorporate change or a new way of thinking into your life. If you believe in it and have ownership of it, it will be a priority.

But maybe you're not at the changing part yet. Believe it or not, if they don't recognize the symptoms, people can experience extreme stress without being aware of it. There are several mental, emotional, and physical signs of stress. When you find yourself not being...well, your self...it could be time for a change. 

You may begin to cry, sleep a lot, feel sad and/or angry, become irritable, and more. You might be negative about everything. Other people might point it out, as my husband once did for me (my friends and parents were also very good at picking up on my change of mood) and, sometimes, you just realize that you are burnt out.

A website I find useful is, lifeline.org.au, which lists the commonly seen effects of someone in distress. Though these symptoms are listed for those who have experienced a natural disaster, people experiencing everyday stress and overwhelm may also exhibit one or more of the following:

Ask yourself, do you feel any of these? Take the time to be aware of your feelings and remember that they can be common, though experiencing them for a prolonged period can be unhealthy. 

So, you've run through the list and said, yes, some of this sounds like you. But what can you actually do about it? Well, now is the time to practice that self-care...

6 methods of Self-Care for Improved Wellness

1. Talk, talk, talk. You may be sick of hearing us say it, but one of the absolute best strategies for self-care is talking about, and through, your problems and feelings. Holding in your emotions greatly increase the physical and mental stress you are experiencing. Remember who your support system is and that there are professional counselors who want to help you.

2. Find your group. Group work can be an incredible source of empowerment. Several people who have gone through the same thing can provide support for one another and empathy.

3. Do what you love. This is the heart of self-care and wellness, What are some of your favourite activities? Art? Reading? Yoga? Or maybe you prefer a faster pace...hiking, running, or sports? Whatever it is – I personally love writing stories and yoga – as long as it's positive, practice it. It is okay if it doesn’t involve your family or friends. As an introvert, I highly enjoy “my people” and need to be around them but also love time for myself, and this is common for all types of people. There are still many "extroverts" who also enjoy quiet, solo activities such as making art or running.

4. Use relaxation techniques. No longer only for yogis and bohemians, mindful relaxation is practiced by all types of people, including highly successful CEOs and entrepreneurs around the world. YouTube is a wonderful resource. You can find videos that use guided imagery, meditation, even complete yoga sessions. And, like everything, there's an app for that. Headspace is a popular app for 10-minute daily meditations. Deep breathing is also very helpful, as we sometimes forget to take really good cleansing breaths, and it can take an enormous physical toll on us. There are also things you can do before you go to bed like progressive muscle relaxation where you tense each muscle in your body. These have been shown to be very helpful for people with anxiety. When you're using these techniques, be sure your space is free from any distractions. Even if you are using your smartphone, you can set it to 'do not disturb.' You deserve and need a few minutes of uninterrupted time each day.

5. Talk with your professor or department chair. This applies to students and faculty and staff. Don’t hesitate to ask questions or let them know you need support. We can help! Make the decision to speak with your professor as soon as possible if you are having trouble with an assignment and are unable to complete it on time. Professors are much more likely to work with a student who has been open and honest early on, rather than someone who has waited until the last minute or the very end of the term to say they have a problem. As mentioned earlier, part of self-care is to be mindful of how you are and do a check-in on yourself. Even if you think you might be able to pull through, if you are feeling overwhelm and stress, you should absolutely make sure you let your professor know. It will be so much easier for you to admit that you need help if you've already established contact and made your instructor aware of your situation. Which brings us to our final step...

6. Give yourself PERMISSION to ask for help! You should never feel ashamed, bad or guilty for feelings that you experience under stress. Your feelings are your own. Self-care can be talking to others but also asking for help. Help can be professional help with a counselor or help from your support system.

Remember that experiencing stress takes a serious toll, not just on our emotions but on our physical health as well. Do not ignore the signs that you may be overwhelmed and in need of a new, or revised, self-care routine.

About the Author

Robika Modak Mylroie, PhD, LPC, NCC, CCTP received her Ph.D. in Counseling from Missippi State University, where she studied the impact of childhood obesity on self-esteem, academic performance, and other markers.

She has been part of the Lamar University community since 2013 and a Distance Clinical Professor for the Department of Counseling and Special Populations since 2015.

Opinions and information shared in this article are solely those of its author. They are not endorsed by, nor do they reflect the opinions of, Lamar University. Always seek a doctor's advice if you suspect you are experiencing mental or physical health complications.